As a mom I tend to constantly be given advice. Most of the time, I’m not even asking for it! Yet people figure you need to know what’s ‘right’. In my five years of motherhood, I’ve heard one too many words of advice and yet, they’re not the ‘right’ ones, at least not for my kid. Needless to say, when my son turned four everyone insisted he learn how to ride a bicycle. These wise words came from moms whose sons were into biking. But what if your child is into climbing, like mine?
Pressured, we ran out and bought a bike. He got to choose the colors, the seat and we even engraved it. He was so excited that we mistook it for the purchase rather than a fun day out with his mama and papa, for the second we got home he forgot all about it. But hey, it was time for him to ride! So we took him to the park, made him get on it. Told him all the cool kids were doing it. Nothing worked. He preferred to climb trees. Again the advice came rushing out: ‘You need to get him on or it will be too late!’ Yet deep down I thought, since when was four to late to learn? Was the world in this much of a rush?
We were disillusioned. We even wondered, was our son too slow? Was he not cool enough? Then one day, two days after his fifth birthday (one year later) he hopped on. By that time the bike had seen way better days due to other kids in the neighborhood borrowing it - instead of four wheels it was down to three wobbly ones. Yet that didn’t stop him! He got on and rode. The inner clocks of development inside us will do what is right no matter when the rest of the world thinks it is!
By Marina Villatoro lives in Costa Rica and loves to help people travel throughout Central America with her site http://travelexperta.com.
Tags: bicycling
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I remember telling my dad when I was about 7 I wanted to learn. I wonder when Elijah will want to. I guess he needs to learn to walk first! hehe
WOW we had this same issue! My twins starting riding very young….like 3 years old! They didn’t even need much help. That inner clock struck and they couldn’t stop riding. Then we had our last girl ….. she didn’t really ride with confidence until she was 8 years old!!!! This was hard on us as a family because we loved to go on rides. One day her clocked also ticked and she hasn’t stopped since this.
So i’m with you on the “The inner clocks of development inside us will do what is right no matter when the rest of the world thinks it is!” We need to do this with all areas of development! Let’s stop trying to get our kids like all the other kids! Stop and enjoy what each has to offer and each at their own time!!!!
I think this happens a lot. As parents, we’re excited for our kids to try something that we loved as a child. But unless they’re ready, they’re not going to enjoy it.
My son will turn 3 in September — too young for a bike yet — but I’ve already been guilty of trying to push him into things too soon. I just have to remind myself to slow down and let him enjoy his childhood and discover his own passions.
My daughter still isn’t exactly sure when to ride…here in Maine we have about 6-8 months to ride but at 7 she is still a little hesitant to do it on her own, and insists the training wheels be left on. She does just fine, but I guess she just still needs that little extra bit of security via the training wheels.
Every kid is different. I learned around 5, had a bad fall & quit till I was 6, lol.
My oldest, couldn’t wait to ride & started around 5. She hopped on & just went. No teaching at all.
My youngest, she was hard to teach. We tried at 5 & then finally at 6 she got it. It took tons & tons of practicing though with me or hubby holding on. I didn’t think she would ever get it, lol.
I need to find out when to take off my son’s training wheels…I think he might be ready.
Can’t wait ’til my babies are old enough to enjoy the freedom of bike riding!
I completely agree. Kids will tackle something when they are ready, and only then. Thanks for the great post.
I remember when my big brothers were trying to teach me to ride. I though I had it, but what I had was a horrible accident. I didn’t quit though. I have a 7 y/o son and feel bad because he doesn’t yet know how to go without the training wheels and his peers have already been doing it for years.
It’s so easy to feel like you need to keep up with what you think is when they should be riding but kids will tell us when they’re ready. Maybe not in so many words but there are signs. We just need to relax and let it happen at each child’s individual pace.
I can’t wait to get my grandson his first bike. I think I started to ride a bike with training wheels when I was four.
My kids also were/are late bloomers in the bike riding. All 3 actually got their first bike this past weekend. So all three 10, 9, and 5 will learn to ride together. They just really weren’t all that interested before.
I was just wondering this the other day - my daughter is only 2, but I can’t wait for her to learn to ride! Thanks!
Honestly, when my parents were first teaching my sister and I how to ride, we weren’t into it at all. They eventually quit trying, but then my sister learned to ride from a friend (she rode everywhere after that!). I didn’t learn to ride until just recently. So we were both late bloomers with our bikes, but now we both know how to ride and are loving it!
I had a son that refused to even touch a bike with training wheels. He wanted a big boy bike and taught himself how to ride in less that a day.
My daughter however was so afraid of falling that we left her training wheels on until they struck straight out of the sides of her bike and did no good what so ever.
But for years she thought she’d turf it without them.
Great post-I had my training wheels until I was four-my mother thought I would have them forever!
I think I was 5 or so, too, when I got on a bike…though I could have been on a bike with training wheels earlier…I’ll have to ask my mom…My daughter is only 2, so we have a while-but she is a climber, too, so it’ll be interesting to see if she takes to it or not!
I remember my parents trying so hard to teach me how to balance on a bike when I was probably seven or eight and I just COULD NOT get it. They gave up trying and, one day, I just hopped on the bike and rode down the driveway by myself! I think sometimes we pressure our kids so much that we take the fun out of learning or doing something new and we don’t even realize it.
My 9 year old isn’t much into his bike. He’s not allowed to ride in the road like his older friends and we don’t have sidewalks for him to ride on, just a long driveway, so maybe that’s it. Any ideas?
Like all of childhood; everything in due time!
Thanks for the reminder that we need to let our kids do things in their own time, instead of pushing them based on artificial milestones. Each one has a different schedule and it’s more important to follow that than the erroneous advice of others!
Our oldest daughter just took off on a bike…riding with training wheels at 2, without training wheels at 4..which she told US when she was ready. Our next daughter could care less about a bike and is 3 1/2..she likes her scooter and that is that. I guess it just depends on the child. We have a 5 1/2 year old niece who wants nothing to do with riding without training wheels as well. Even though her cousin is (this is what her parents told her)…to which she replied. “Jordan is good at some things and I am good at others.” It’s us parents that have the problem and most of that is because others are telling us what are child should be doing…they’ll let you know when they are ready.
Hi Everyone thanks for the great feedback and your stories:)
@Erin don’t worry your little boy will be riding his bike before you know it, they grow up and are independent so fast!
@Susan, that must be great that you all can ride together now! We’re about to Move to Guatemala and some areas are really bike friendly and we’re going to hit the road with the family:)
@Amy I find myself pushing my passions, and also fears on my son! It’s inevitable, it’s so hard to believe that they are real, little people:)
@Michele you know what might help, if she goes with her friends that don’t use training wheels. I find my son works better that way!
@Ginny, it’s sooo crazy how different every kid is, even when they come from the same parents. Just me and my brother are like night and day!
@Lisa I would just do it. You can say, hey let’s try something new. If he totally refuses and is deadly scared, I’d say not yet:)
@Heidi don’t worry, they will riding sooner than you can imagine!
@Rebecca, you know it’s not only kids. It’s everyone. I see myself being pushed and I don’t do it, then one day, I decide and I’m off doing my thing.
@Milcah, don’t worry, one day you’ll wake up and he’ll be doing circles around all his little buddies:)
@Elizabeth, I totally agree. Funny how that little apparatus says so much!
@Tamara, my parents bought my son a tricycle when he was 3. This is a great way to start!
@Jean M. That’s so great, they will do it all together and motivate one another:)
@Courtney how about getting your little girl a tricycle? That’s a great way to start.
@Shadabeux You know, I’m a late bloomer in everything! I think I started riding my bike when I was 9.
@Tammy and Parker, it’s the placebo effect having the wheels, but hey, whatever works:)
@Laura, I think 4 is early! Good for you:)
I never learned to ride a bike (except for my beloved Schwinn stationary bike!) and one of the best things my hubby did was teach our child to ride a bike!
Everyone progresses differently. I have to remember this as my children grow older too…not to compare to what others are doing! A climbing child sounds very healthy to me anyway
My oldest son was 3 when he wanted his training wheels off and was too impatient to wait for me to get outside to take them off so he climbed in the back of our pickup truck and got out an wrench and took them off himself and took off down our long (about .3 mile) gravel lane. The rest of my kids were a little older than that and none started at the same age. Same with my grandchildren. All kids are different. 3 is not too young to get them a bike but let them tell you when they are ready to remove the training wheels. they will know.
My son is only 5 months right now but I cannot wait to be able to take him out for a ride sometime and then to eventually buy him his own bike. Hopefully someday him and I can share the joy of going for a nice leisurely bike ride.
Funny that we get advice about so many things as mothers, but truly if we trust our inner instincts and our children’s personal compasses that direct their readiness all will go well. My children both started riding without training wheels later in life, around 8 and 9 years old. I blame it on a gravel driveway and a home poised at the top of a steep hill on a cul-de-sac. But really? I think they started pedaling without the extra wheels when they were ready. I distinctly remember the moment for each and those experiences were about as special and memorable as I mother could wish for. Why rush our children through life? Remember, pedaling for speed solely to get somewhere faster means you miss too much of the wonderful scenery around you. What would be the point of getting on a bicycle in the first place?
I think I will try to recommend this post to my friends and family, cuz it’s really helpful.
It is too late when he turns 14 and is scared to ride it and he/she will never attempt it again. If I had to do it all over again, I would have made it happen when he was 5 or 7 yrs old….and motivated him to do it . He tried it once and fell….years later he almost tried again, but changed his mind and never tried it again. He is now 28 yrs old. The earlier the better.
My mother bought me a bike for my seventh birthday. I tried to ride it, not knowing that most people use training wheels to get comfortable with riding a two-wheeler. I wiped out and tore a three-inch piece of skin off my left leg; I still have that scar after 31 years. I absolutely refused to even touch that bike even after my mother put training wheels on it (which she should have done before I started riding it the first time) for three years. She threatened to sell it many times; I swear, she used that bike to exert control over me, as I would beg her not to sell the bike but I would cry if she tried to make me ride it. Finally, at about age ten I kinda figured out how to balance on the bike and started riding. Of course, I also got taller during those three years, so that made things easier on me, since I learned how to stop the bike by putting my feet on the ground. My mother and I no longer speak to each other (for a lot of other reasons beside the bike issue), but in hindsight had she been wise enough to train me properly in bike safety I would not have lost three years of bicycling fun.